Some irresponsible and
insensitive Bhutanese have been trolling on why Bhutan cannot win an Olympics
medal. But a JigsNews and International Olympic Committee joint study reveals
that non-winning has nothing to do with capabilities, but more with the
political, social-economic, geographical & cultural conditions.
Archery
and shooting: Foreign media has been praising Bhutan for not winning any medal
and are exoticising our athletes so much that they blush the moment they read
an article on them. But our study reveals that while Bhutanese are good in
traditional archery, their inability to win an international tournament has a
Chinese connection. Even though the archery set they uses seems to come from US
or Europe, the manual rolled around the
bow-string is always in Chinese. After all everything is made in China these
days. And you know how difficult it is to get a Chinese interpreter in
Bhutan.
And moreover, Bhutanese can’t
win a shooting or archery competition unless there is someone to distract them
at the target end. Department of Culture should consider composing some lewd
songs aimed at our archery maiden and have men singing it. And the effect of
prayers for winning has geographical limitations. Dechenphodrang is too far
from London.
Water
Sports: Blame it on the Blessed Rainy Day, a very auspicious day in Bhutan
where the whole country takes a shower. Astrologers have warned against
potential swimmers that if they practice everyday, then Blessed Rainy Day will
have no effect. And which Bhutanese would want to win gold instead of god?
Throw
events: As Buddhists, Bhutanese try to avoid confrontations. The study says
that most athletes come from very poor background and there is no big enough a
ground to practice regularly. And since most of practicable land are in the
hands of a rich few, a discus, shot-put or javelin throw lands in the property
of some influential dasho and he complains against his land being damaged. In
Bhutan avoiding the wrath of a rich man is better than an Olympic gold.
Long
distance walk: How can someone practice when the country has just one designated
day a week for walking. Moreover, most Bhutanese are used to walking in the
dark (night hunting) in rugged conditions whereas at the Olympics the athletes
are made to walk in broad daylight or under floodlights.
Sprints: Bhutanese, used to rocky paths
find it difficult to run on clean synthetic tracks. Also blame it on Bhutan’s
conversation policy, before you finish a 100 meter dash, you dash into at least
three trees that proudly hold the branches of Gross National Happiness. The
strict traffic rule of ‘slow down, move to the left lane & let vehicles
overtake’ is seen as a major impediment to Bhutanese sprinters who can’t shed
the habit on the tracks. Another significant finding is that Bhutan
doesn’t want to offend Indian or Chinese sprinters for geopolitical reasons.
What happens on the tracks influences diplomacy.
Pole
vault & High Jump: The world has never witnessed an Olympics in the Himalayas. You
see, there is a certain height to which our gymnasts can jump. The air here is
thinner, gravitational pull is lesser. So a gymnast who weaves magic in the
Bhutanese fails elsewhere.
Mixed
Doubles: Suspicion of extra-marital affairs, a small society syndrome, is
impeding participants in men-women’s mixed doubles in disciplines such as
tennis & table tennis.
Wrestling: The Bhutanese society’s
non-acceptance of gay culture. A lot of touching, fondling, slapping is needed
in wrestling. Isn’t it too gayish and kinky?
Team
Events: With 6 political parties, it is difficult to build team unity as
teams cannot be formed with supporters of one party. Therefore, there is
disunity and teamwork is an issue, which deters Bhutan from getting medals in
team event.
Last
but not the least, there are always more officials than athletes. If there was
a competition for non-athletes on the struggles to get into the
Olympics contingent, our officials would stand a fair chance against
medal-winning countries.
